Frog Jokes

Frog Jokes

What kind of shoes do frogs wear? 

Open toad! 

What do you call a talking frog? 

A quantum leap. 

What's a frogs favorite flower? 

A croakus! 

What do you call a frog hanging from a ceiling? 

Mistletoad. 

How do you make frog legs? 

In a croak=pot. 

Whats the preferred car of frogs? 

The Beetle. 

What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog? 

A croaker spaniel! 

What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog? 

A croakadile. 

What do you call an illegally parked frog? 

Toad. 

What do you call a rich frog? 

A golf blooded amphibian! 

What do toads drink? 

Croak-a-cola! 

What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry? 

A hoppercraft! 

Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road? 

He was afraid of getting toad! 

What is worse than finding a maggot in your apple? 

Finding half an apple! 

Where do frogs keep there money? 

In the riverbanks! 

What do frogs drink? 

Hot croako! 

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School Play Joke

School Play Joke

Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in my life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. 

Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play. 

His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. 

On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. 

Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. 

"Guess what Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me: 

"I've been chosen to clap and cheer". 

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Hedgehog Jokes Funny

Hedgehog Jokes Funny

Q: How do hedgehogs make love? 

A: Very, very carefully! 

Q: Why couldn't the hedgehog wash his hair? 

A: Because he'd left his head and shoulders on the road. 

Q: What do you call an hedgehog with a carrot in each ear? 

A: Anything you want as he can't hear you! 

Q: What did the grape say when the hedgehog stood on it? 

A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine! 

Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road? 

A: To prove to the possum that it could be done! 

Q: When does a hedgehog go "moo"? 

A: When it is learning a new language! 

Q: What do you call a hedgehog that can pick up an elephant ? 

A: Sir! 

Q: Who's faster, Sonic the hedgehog or a Japanese bullet train? 

A: A bullet train of course, Sonic doesn't actually exist. 

Q: What is a hedgehog's favorite flavour of chips? 

A: Prickled Onion! 

Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road? 

A: To see his flat mate! 

Q: What do you call a hedgehog with hot lips? 

A: Sonic the Hedge-Snog. 

Q: What do you get when you cross a bush and a pig? 

A: A hedgehog! 

Q: What's the difference between a Mercedes and a hedgehog? 

A: The pricks are on the outside on a porcupine! 

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DECISIONS Joke Funny

DECISIONS Joke Funny

The department head is a wise, friendly old man, and one day, during an interview in his office he was asked, 

"Sir, What is the secret of your success?" 

He said, "Two words." 

"And, Sir, what are they?" 

"Right decisions." 

"But how do you make right decisions?" 

"One word." He responded. 

"And, sir, What is that?" 

"Experience."

"And how do you get Experience?" 

"Two words." 

"And, Sir, what are they?" 

"Wrong decisions." 

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Veterinary Clinic Joke Funny

Veterinary Clinic Joke Funny

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. 

As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away." 

"What?" screamed the man. 

"How can you tell?  You haven't done any testing on him or anything. 

I want another opinion!" With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. 

The Retriever went right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly. 

After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said "Bark". 

The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table. 

As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, "Meow."  

He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room. The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600.  

The dog's owner went beserk. "$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!" 

The vet shook his head sadly and explained. "If you had taken my word for it, it would have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat scan..." 

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Sport Jokes That Make You Laugh

Sport Jokes That Make You Laugh

Funny kid jokes

Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? 

A: Quattro sinko. 

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? 

A: A stick. 

Q: What is a ghosts favorite position in soccer? 

A: Ghoul keeper. 

Q: What is a cheerleaders favorite color? 

A: Yeller! 

Q: What is a Cheerleader's favorite food? 

A: Cheerios! 

Q: Why can't Cinderella play soccer? 

A: Because she's always running away from the ball. 

Q: When is a baby good at basketball? 

A: When it's dribbling! 

Q: Why did the basketball player go to jail? 

A: Because he shot the ball. 

Q: Why do basketball players love donuts? 

A: Because they dunk them! 

Q: What do you call a pig who plays basketball? 

A: A ball hog! 

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? 

A: In case he got a hole in one! 

Q: How is a baseball team similar to a pancake? 

A: They both need a good batter! 

Q: What's a golfer's favorite letter? 

A: Tee! 

Q: What animal is best at hitting a baseball? 

A: A bat! 

Q: At what sport to waiters do really well? 

A: Tennis, because they can serve so well. 

Q: How do baseball players stay cool? 

A: They sit next to the fans. 

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank? 

A: He wanted his quarter back! 

Q: What is harder to catch the faster you run? 

A: Your breath! 

Q: Why is tennis such a loud sport? 

A: The players raise a racquet. 

Q: Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?

A: He was perfecting his swing. 

Q: Why did the ballerina quit? 

A: Because it was tu-tu hard! 

Q: How do football players stay cool during the game? 

A: They stand close to the fans? 

Q: What is an insect's favorite sport? 

A: Cricket! 

School Answering Machine Joke Funny

School Answering Machine Joke Funny

Short funny jokes

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection: To lie about why your child is absent

--Press 1. To make excuses for why your child did not do his work

--Press 2. To complain about what we do

--Press 3. To cuss out staff members

--Press 4. To ask why you didn't get needed information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you

--Press 5. If you want us to raise your child

--Press 6. If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone

--Press 7. To request another teacher for the third time this year

--Press 8. To complain about bus transportation

--Press 9. To complain about school lunches

--Press 0. If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it is NOT the teacher's fault for your children's lack of effort-HANG UP