Funny Jokes For Children One Liners

Funny Jokes For Children One Liners

Q: What is the tallest building in the world? 

A: The library! It has the most stories! 

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it? 

A: A waist of time 

Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor? 

A: Because it was not peeling well 

Q: Why is England the wettest country? 

A: Because the queen has reigned there for years! 

Q: Why do fish live in salt water? 

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze! 

Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer? 

A: He wanted cold hard cash! 

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 

A: Frostbite. 

Q: What is the best day to go to the beach? 

A: Sunday, of course!

Q: What bow can't be tied? 

A: A rainbow! 

Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? 

A: Spring time. 

Q: Where did the computer go to dance? 

A: To a disc-o. 

Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs? 

A: A Bed 

Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? 

A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew". 

Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital? 

A: To get a tweetment. 

Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? 

A: A Clausterphobic 

Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? 

A: Ouch 

Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? 

A: Because his friend said dinner is on me. 

Q: Why is a 2016 calendar more popular than a 2015 calendar? 

A: It has more dates. 

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? 

A: Never mind, it's over your head! 

Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? 

A: A penny. 

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? 

A: Because he had no-body to go with. 

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? 

A: They take the psycho path. 

Q: What three candies can you find in every school? 

A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties. 

Q: Why are pirates called pirates? 

A: Cause they arrrrr. 

Q: What do prisoners use to call each other? 

A: Cell phones. 

Q: Where do snowmen keep their money? 

A: In snow banks. 

Q: What washes up on very small beaches? 

A: Microwaves! 

Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? 

A: The road! 

Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? 

A: The scientists were brainstorming! 

Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune? 

A: Because he couldn't find a date! 

Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? 

A: Hi Cliff!